“I love you, honey. Now get the hell out of here!” – Happily married and living apart

No wonder so many of our parents and grandparents had separate beds. Some of them had separate rooms. For all their "traditionalism", they had some good ideas about how to keep relationships balanced through the manipulation of distance--ideas that some consider to be progressive nowadays. There is truly something to be said for the “man …

The Power of Touch, for better or worse…

Good touch is awesome.  It's immediate and intimate and provokes a slew of cognitive responses in a way that sight, smell, taste, and hearing just don't. Good touch has the power to heal and, in a sense, to create.  It influences the production of growth hormone in infants.  It has the power to alleviate the …

Is it unconditional love, “settling”, or submitting to reality?

Someone once told me that while detachment can be a very useful survival tool in certain situations, it should not be a way of life. Yet I’m finding that there are some circumstances and people with whom I have had to adopt a lifetime strategy of detachment. Well maybe I’m not employing the strategy of …

Female Viagra? Not quite…

I love Bill Maher and all unabashed commentators like him who know how to sum up bullshit.  Take, for example his comments regarding Addyi, the new "female Viagra": "...the new female sex pill, Addyi. Yes, that’s right.  There’s now a pill that makes women want more sex, but can also lower blood pressure and put …

Distance Lovin’ Part 5: BlackGirlTravel.com

The grass usually looks greener on the other side when you refuse to water your own. If you haven't figured it out by now, I'm pretty interested in this topic of people traveling abroad to find love and escape the dating drama that may have become common for them in their native countries.  According to …

The Blame Game | Does religion foster a sense of victimhood?

At times, I sit back and recall my days as a devout, nearly fundamentalist, Christian and lay minister. I consciously de-converted from organized religion 8 years ago, and I consider the effect that inherited thinking patterns had on my experience. One glaring element of my worldview was a strong sense of victimhood, though I wouldn’t …

Distance Lovin’ Part 4: These Black American men are sick of ya’ll women! Are there better pickings in Brazil?

Back in 2006 Essence Magazine published the article, “Blame it on Rio” which examined the phenomenon of Black men traveling to Brazil to find love and/or sex. Seems that the article provoked some strong responses. On one hand, many black women were offended by the idea that some black men would feel the need to …

Distance Lovin’ Part 3: Cougars on the prowl for Dark Meat abroad

Just what are people doing in life, huh?  Have you realized just how big and wide this world is out here?  Do you know the types of things people are getting into??? In case you haven't heard, Sex Tourism is alive and well in many parts of the world.  Unfortunately, it often involves young people …

Distance Lovin’ Part 2: Happy Ending Massage – For Women

I'm including this in the Distance Lovin' series because 1) the idea of women paying for sexual pleasure is, to some, a “foreign” idea, (lol! ... nevamind me...)  2) because this topic involves traveling outside one's home or the confines of a relationship for romantic/sexual pleasure, 3) because there are some out there who will …

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