Across the world, conversations about masculinity are shifting—but slowly. A recent Pew Research Center survey found that 46% of men believe gender equality has “gone far enough”, while only 37% of women agree. This gap reveals a fundamental disconnect: many men think the work is done, while women live the daily evidence that it is not.
Some men are beginning to acknowledge inequities, but most haven’t yet examined how they show up in their own homes, relationships, and habits. And as the resounding cry of women around the world continues to lift, calling for change, too many men are still resisting that change and the transfer of privileges that it would require.
Are Men Truly Ready for Equitable Partnership?
In theory, yes. In practice, the progress is uneven at best. When questioned about their ideas on modern relationships, many men say they want egalitarian partnerships, but it soon becomes apparent that they may not even be sure what that means. Many still default to traditional expectations of women, especially once children enter the picture. This mirrors decades of research: men often support equity abstractly but revert to convenience-based dynamics when life gets stressful. The intention may be evolving, but the follow-through remains inconsistent.
And then, of course, you have all those men who are openly running back to the church and old social programs. They’re regressing to traditional gender roles and “family values”, clinging to what is familiar and opining about the good old days when their granddaddies ruled their homes with an iron fist. They haven’t built the inner infrastructure for evolution, and they are defaulting to shoddy ideas out of fear of a changing world for which they are ill-equipped.
So, do men want reciprocity or convenience? Judging by popular voices on social media, many women are convinced the answer is the latter. Research from the Council on Contemporary Families confirms their assumptions. It shows that heterosexual men still benefit most from domestic inequality—receiving more leisure time, more emotional support, more sexual satisfaction, less shame projected on them for perceived failures, and fewer household expectations in partnership with women. All these privileges systemically heaped upon them can be hard to let go of.
Historically, many men have expected not partnership but service. And while younger men are talking more about mutual respect and reciprocity, women of all ages are reporting the opposite in real life: emotional overload, weaponized incompetence, violence, and a hunger from men for comfort without contribution. For a few, old habits are dying, but nowhere near fast enough.
Are More Men Waking Up to What It Takes to Sustain Long-Term Love?
Men are increasingly aware that emotional presence matters, but awareness does not equal skill. A 2025 Psychology Today report revealed that women initiate 70% of divorces, primarily due to emotional neglect and imbalance in domestic labor.
Men want to receive lasting love, but many underestimate the relational intelligence it requires. Without emotional literacy, men often confuse love with simply providing and protecting. They also conflate it with access—access to a woman’s labor, body, nurturing, and stability—while overlooking the investment required to sustain her desire, intimacy, or trust.
Therapy usage among men is rising, but still low compared to women. According to the CDC, women seek mental health services at nearly twice the rate of men. The stigma is weakening, but not gone. And even among men who do attend therapy, many stop early, avoid deep emotional exploration, or rely heavily on women partners as supplemental therapists.
As The Atlantic stated in 2024, “Women are not just partners in modern relationships—they are often men’s primary emotional infrastructure.” Researchers refer to this as “man-keeping”, and it refers to the consistent management that men require in heterosexual relationships. I think the term, man-sitting might be spicier, but much more apt.
I can personally attest to the prevalence of man-sitting and the expectation that men have of being managed by women. In one long-term relationship, a guy once told me that I was his church. When I tell you that sex with him had begun to feel like an energetic extraction, rather than a joyful, playful act of sharing that we both benefited from equally, I’m not exaggerating. He said this and I finally understood why, then I developed my exit strategy.
Many men use women’s bodies and energies as healing centers. And they have no desire or intention of making the kinds of consistent, long-term investments of reciprocal care that are required to replenish those reserves. Mutuality is—too often—the furthest thing from their minds. They are too busy feeding.
Until men learn to self-regulate and self-reflect, women will keep getting bored with them, and genuine partnership with them will remain out of reach.
Are Men Becoming More Knowledgeable About Women’s Bodies and Hormonal Mechanisms?
Interest is growing, especially among younger men, but largely absent among older generations. Apps like Clue, Stardust, and cycle-tracking education have increased awareness and helped savvy men to avoid unwanted pregnancies. Yet most women still report that men misunderstand PMS, hormonal shifts, perimenopause and menopause symptoms, and the emotional and physical complexities of the female body.
A hopeful development is the #MANOFTHEPAUSE Movement. In it, men are taking the initiative to learn about the far-reaching effects of perimenopause and menopause on women’s health and quality of life.
This is a spiritual, emotional, and psychological recalibration of masculinity. It encourages men to interrupt generational patterns of trivializing and ignoring women’s needs and concerns. By pausing themselves, these men create space for empathy, curiosity, and accountability—traits that form the bedrock of Evolved Love. It’s also worth noting that in our youth-obsessed society, movements like this allow men and women to expand their reverence of the feminine to include appreciation for that crone stage of womanhood.
This pause is not weakness; it is the highest form of strength. It is a practice that makes emotional intelligence possible. Theoretically, it’s one way men are learning to listen without defensiveness, love without entitlement, and show up without relying on women to do the emotional heavy lifting.
It still appears, though, that 50-70% of women still do not regularly climax during general, penetrative sex with men. So, let’s hope that something like #MANOFTHEMULTIPLEORGASM kicks off soon, encouraging men to become more intimately and sexually aware, too! When men choose to learn about these kinds of things, their empathy improves dramatically and that improves their relationships with women.
Are Men Less Likely to Leave a Sick Partner Today?
The data suggests no. Multiple studies, including a well-known 2024 University of Michigan analysis, show that men are still far more likely than women to leave a partner after a diagnosis of serious illness. Women, however, overwhelmingly remain caretakers for sick male partners.
This imbalance highlights a truth women already know: many men seek to receive unconditional love and care from women, not to give it to them. Evolution in this area remains minimal.
Are Men More Willing to Nurture, Parent, and Care for their Partners than in Generations Past?
Some are—especially among Millennial and Gen Z fathers who take pride in hands-on parenting. But for women 35–55, the story looks different. Their partners often grew up in families where emotional labor and domestic care were coded as “women’s work.”
Although men express support for equitable households, studies show they still perform less than half the domestic labor in heterosexual relationships, even in dual-income households. The nurturing revolution is happening, but at a pace that leaves many women burnt out long before balance arrives.
So…Is Masculinity Evolving?
Yes—but slowly, unevenly, and often only in theory. Women are evolving at lightning speed. Men are evolving in pockets. And heterosexual relationships remain strained by inequities that refuse to die on their own. The data shows progress, but culture shows stagnation. The desire exists, but the skills are behind. Many men want partnership—but what they call “partnership” often still means having access to women’s labor, loyalty, comfort, and emotional processing without having to give in kind.
“When half of a society is showered with entitlement and groomed to dominate the other half, they grow lazy and out of shape from feasting on privilege.” –
(F*CK SUBMISSION: Ending the Gender Wars for Good by Inanna Joy)
There is still much ground to cover if we want to close this evolution gap between men and women. But women can no longer bear the burden of responsibility for progress.
Women’s Solution to these Truths (Renegade Style)
Given the glacial pace of male evolution, women must protect their energy, freedom, integrity, and emotional futures. The solution isn’t waiting for men to catch up or declaring them useless and treating them like the enemy. It’s honoring our sovereignty, building relationships based on Evolved Love (mutual respect and reciprocal care) wherever possible, and leaving men to do their own work when they need to play catch up. It looks like this:
- Stop mothering grown men
- Stop offering emotional labor that isn’t reciprocated
- Stop rewarding incompetence with more labor and over functioning
- Stop perpetuating the idea that men are a lost cause. They can evolve, and they must—on their own.
- Resist the urge to fall into the trap that too many women have succumbed to—mimicking the behavior of unevolved men for attention, power, or wealth.
- Abandon the societal programming that men are natural protectors, providers, and leaders, and embrace your own birthright of personal dominion.
- Understand that the idea of lasting love and happy marriage is largely a fantasy, not yet widely possible due to our current evolutionary state. Know that even if you never marry or settle down with a man, you can have a happy and deliciously adventurous life that is full of meaning and love.
- Require equity as an entry point—not a negotiation—in every realm
- Invest in your own joy, rest, and financial sovereignty
- Partner with other women and the few men who “get it” for real support and community
Men can evolve, and some will. But women, historically, have always evolved first, fiercely and intentionally. The more we hold the line, the more they will have no choice but to drag their asses into the future.
Where men rise, meet them. Where they refuse, walk away. The future of love belongs not to the most long-suffering woman but to the most sovereign one.
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